How Do Kegel Exercises Enhance Pleasure and Sex?


Kegels + Pleasure = YES Please!


Written by Kait Scalisi MPH, Director of Education and Training, My Secret Luxury and My Secret Soiree

If you are an adult in the post-Fifty Shades of Grey era, you understand when I say, “those silver balls.”

You may even know their technical name (it’s Ben Wa balls FYI) and that they help you do your Kegel exercises.  But do you really know what any of that means? Or how it relates to your pleasure and sex?

If not, you’re not alone. And keep reading.

Anatomy 101

First up: a quick anatomy lesson. As you learned in the science of orgasms, when you orgasm, what you actually experience is a series of super fast muscle contractions. What muscles are involved in your climax?

“Those would be the muscles of the uterus, vagina, pelvis, penis, anus, and prostate gland. These are known as the pelvic diaphragm and the urogenital muscles. They support your pelvic organs (e.g. bladder, uterus, and prostate) and help you stop the flow of pee midstream. The PC muscles, which you may have heard of or even strengthened through Kegel exercises, are part of this system.”

These muscles, in turn, are directly connected to those of your core, including your abs and buttocks. This is why you may sometimes find your legs twitching or you roll up during orgasm.

Because of this connectivity, there are two schools of thought regarding the best way to strengthen all these muscles, which from here on out I’ll be referring to as your orgasm muscles.

One school says: “Kegels Kegels Kegels!”

The other says: “Kegels are horrendous! Focus on core work instead.”

I recommend taking a middle ground. First, let’s explore why some folks don’t advise doing Kegels.

The Problem with Kegels

Kegels can be wonderful tools when done correctly. Properly exercising your Kegels means both tightening and releasing the muscles. Like with any exercise, the relaxation bit is as important as, if not more so than, the tightening/contraction. Why? Repeat after me:

Tight muscles are not strong muscles.

If you’ve ever had a charley horse in your leg or a knot in your back, you know what I mean. So if you’re doing Kegels without the help of exercisers, focus on the letting go part.

Additionally, for people, especially women, suffering from sexual pain, doing Kegels at all may contribute to the pain cycle. Though Kegels are often discussed as an amazing treatment, not everyone with pelvic floor issues should do them.

If you have pelvic pain, please consult with a pelvic floor physical therapist or an ob/gyn with experience treating painful before doing Kegels.

Why Kegels Rock!

Ok – so Kegels have to be done properly and they aren’t for everyone. Now that we’ve established that, let’s talk about why they are so darn amazing.

Stronger orgasms . . . .

And a boatload of other sexual health benefits such as prevention of incontinence and helping before and after pregnancy. Because orgasms are just muscle contractions, strengthening those muscles lets you have stronger contractions and therefore, more pleasure.

As you learned above though, it’s not only the PC muscles that lead to great pelvic health. It’s the whole pelvic diaphragm, urogenital muscle complex, and core. Quite simply this means the the absolute best practice for your strongest orgasm is a combination of both Kegels and core work.

Extra bonus: a stronger core helps you have more vigorous, adventurous sex, which also helps you have stronger orgasms!

Now I am not saying you should go out and start an intense exercise regimen. Obviously, exercise is good for you. But what I do recommend is combining these best practices to make exercise even more fun.

That’s right, work your Kegels while you workout. Multitasking your way to better orgasms!

Kegel Exercisers

You can do strengthen your Kegel muscles thanks to fabulous tools called Kegel exercisers. These include the Ben Wa balls as well as Kegel balls, which are larger and often have a string attached for easy removal.

I personally recommend the Lelo Luna Beads. Each set has four balls so you can add weight as your muscles strengthen. Additionally, they can be fully sterilized in boiling water. Lastly, they provide a fabulous rumble-y sensation when you wear them.

All Kegels balls have a smaller ball inside that moves around when you do things like walk, use the elliptical, go up stairs (or a stair machine), squat, etc. So if the argument above regarding the benefit of working out and doing Kegels didn’t convince you, maybe the idea that you’re getting vibrations against your G-spot while you work out will.

You’ll be to only one smiling on the elliptical!

Buy Kegel exercisers here.

One Final Thought

To strengthen a muscle, there must be a force put against it. For the PC muscles, this force is gravity. That means Kegels balls work best when you’re standing. Gravity pulls down on them and your muscles must tighten to keep them in.

To recap: to get the strongest orgasms, use a combo of Kegels and exercises that strengthen your core muscles, especially your abs and butt. You can do both at once and enjoy working out (even more) thanks to Kegels balls. 

Have questions? Kait, our resident sex educator, is here to answer them. Email her here.


Special thanks to Anthony Rojas, DPT and Heather Jeffcoat, DPT for contributing knowledge for this article.  

The Science of Orgasms


Learn all about the Science behind Orgasms.

Most  people would agree that orgasms are pretty awesome. They feel amazing and provide a whole plethora of benefits. But have you ever wondered what exactly goes on during an orgasm? Let’s break it down. After all, knowledge is power and in this case “power” comes in the form of experiencing more pleasure. Cheers to that!

What is an orgasm?

At the most basic level, an orgasm is simply a series of muscle contractions. For women, these contractions occur in a rhythmic pattern, like the beat in a song. The contractions often, but not always, are accompanied by lots of pleasurable sensations, full body muscle spasms, and a feeling of release or letting go. This means there are different “levels” of orgasm, from quiet whispers to full body, curtain-climbing fireworks. So if you kind of feel like you got there but then there was just…nothing? It was an orgasm. :)

The Sexual Response Cycle

Leading up to and during the Big O, your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing increase. After an orgasm, there are often feelings of deep relaxation and satiation.

In order to reach orgasm, your body must go through a sequence of physical and emotional changes as you become aroused.

Phase 1: Excitement

This is where arousal begins either by initial contact or in your mind. [Read more about how the brain is the largest and most important sex organ here.] Examples may include but are not limited to: kissing; watching your partner undress; reading erotic fiction; watching pornography; talking dirty.

This phase, which lasts from a few minutes to many hours, can include:

- Blood flow to the genital area increases (swelling of a woman’s clitoris and labia minor (inner lips) and erection of a the man’s penis)

- Muscle tension increases

- Breathing is accelerated

- Vaginal lubrication for women increases

- Skin is flushed

- Nipples are hardened or erect

- Women’s breasts are fuller and vaginal walls begin to swell

- Men’s testicles swell, scrotum tightens and discharge of lubricating liquid

Phase 2: Plateau

For women, this phase is dominated by increased blood flow to the clitoris and vaginal walls. Breathing and heart rate also increase. This is right before you orgasm.

This phase, which lasts only a few seconds, can include:

- The changes in Phase 1 increase

- The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow and the vaginal walls turn a dark purple

- The woman’s clitoris becomes very sensitive and retracts under the clitoral hood

- The man’s testicles are withdrawn up into the scrotum

- Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands

Phase 3: Orgasm

This is the climax of the sexual response cycle.

This phase can include:

- Involuntary muscle contractions

- Blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing are at their highest rates with a rapid intake of oxygen.

- Muscles spam in the feet

- Sudden any maybe forceful release of sexual tension

- Women’s vagina muscles and uterus contracts

- Some men ejaculate semen

- A rash or “sex flush” may appear on the body

Phase 4: Resolution

This is the final stage of the sexual response cycle. Blood flow decreases and the body returns to its normal state. This phase is marked by a state of calmness, enhanced intimacy and, for many, fatigue.

Men experience a refractory period during which time they cannot get another erection or orgasm. This refractory period varies among men and unfortunately gets longer as men age. Women don’t have a refractory period and some report feeling even more aroused post-climax. Therefore, women can experience sequential and multiple orgasms.

What’s the difference?

Sequential orgasms happen one immediately after another; as one stops, the next begins. Multiple orgasms happen over a longer period of time. Men can also experience multiples if they want to keep going after the refractory period.

Must you ejaculate to have an orgasm? 

No. People of all genders can climax without it! [Read more about female ejaculation.]

What muscles contract?

Those would be the muscles of the uterus, vagina, pelvis, penis, anus, and prostate gland. These are known as the pelvic diaphragm and the urogenital muscles. They support your pelvic organs (e.g. bladder, uterus, and prostrate) and help you stop the flow of pee midstream. The PC muscles, which you may have heard of or even strengthened through Kegels exercises, are part of this system.

Because everything in the human body is connected to everything else (true story!), when these muscles contract they may also send the signal to surrounding muscle groups, like your abs and legs. This is why many people experience leg twitches, arch their back, or curl up during orgasm.

Are there different types of orgasms?

Women can experience both clitoral and G-spot orgasms. Clitoral orgasms include those that happen during penetration because the clitoris includes more than just that “little button” you can see outside the body. This internal clitoris can be stimulated in a variety of ways including vulva massage and penetration.

The G-spot, however, is made up of a different a type of tissue. A G-spot orgasm often feels stronger and spread out over a larger area than a clitoral one. In other words, rather than the pleasure and good feeling being focused in and around the vulva, it spreads throughout the body.

What’s the best way to reach orgasm?

Whatever way feels best to you! Keep in mind that approximately 70% of women need some sort of clitoral stimulation to orgasm.

I want stronger or more frequent orgasm. What can I do to achieve them?

Three things: strengthen your orgasm muscles, sexual stimulants, and practice!

  1. The best way to strengthen your orgasm muscles is through a combination of both core work (abs and butt exercises) and Kegels. Kegels exercisers or ben wa balls help with the latter. They are great to wear during workouts for an extra special exercise routine!
  2. Sexual stimulants increase blood flow to the genitals. Essentially this helps you get aroused more easily and makes everything down there more sensitive.
  3. Practice makes perfect, right? Practice edging – bringing yourself right there (you know — just before you orgasm) — and then stop. Do this again if you’d like. As it gets easier, bring yourself closer and closer until you just can’t take it anymore.

I struggle with orgasm. Why is that and what can I do? 

There are both physical and psychological reasons people struggle to orgasm. New research shows that what you think about during sex has a huge impact on your ability to climax. Other people may simply need to use more personal lubricant, have longer foreplay or need a vibrator. [Read more about painful sex here.] For others, anxiety or a history of trauma may make it difficult to enjoy pleasure and touch.

Have a question about orgasm? Our sexpert and Director of Education and Training is here to answer them! Send in your question here. It’s completely confidential.


High Quality Adult Sex Toys of Fifty Shades of Grey


See our picks for the best High Quality Sex Toys from Fifty Shades of Grey!

Fifty Shades of Grey is on everyone’s mind for one reason or another. Love or hate E.L. James’ sexy series, the movie will be out February 2015. After reading the book(s), many women wanted to recreate the same sexual experience and pleasure (!) that Ana had. Shortly after the phenomenon, Fifty Shades of Grey inspired many of their own branded pleasure products — from BDSM gear and equipment to adult sex toys to adult lotions and potions.

Unfortunately, since My Secret Luxury is the ultimate authority on luxury sex toys and accessories, those Fifty Shades of Grey official products don’t meet our quality standards. So, here are our picks for products that meet our high quality standards.

High Quality Adult Sex Toys of 50 Shades:


Christian used a blindfold many times on Ana. He takes away her sense of sight, which leaves her wondering what is about to happen next. When you hinder one sense, all the others are heightened. It creates the feeling of excitement, but only if your lover feels safe with you. Our favorite blindfolds are the Bettie Page Blackout Blindfold and the LELO Intima Silk Blindfold.

Butt Plugs

For Christian’s birthday, Ana gives him a box with a few items she is curious to play with. One of the items is a metal butt plug. Although Christian explains that this is much too advanced for her and he starts with a finger, you may be ready to try one of these yourself. Why is anal play so pleasurable? For women, the clitoral legs and all of their amazing sensory nerve endings can extend all the way down to the anus. It’s very important with anal play to start small and of course, use lots of anal lubricant. Our favorite beginner butt plug is the Chrome Blossom Little Bud.


There are a wide variety of crops out there and only the highest quality products are worth your money. If you are beginner, it’s best for you and your lover to learn how to you a crop properly. We recommend starting with a wider crop so that it hits a larger surface area, which lessens the sting and is less painful for the receiver. You can then graduate to the smaller crop that Christian uses on Ana’s clitoris in the first book. To begin, try the Fashionistas Riding Crop or the Madame Mystique Crop.


Games of submission and dominance can add variety in the bedroom. You don’t need to buy a game or do anything formal. Blindfold your lover. Tie your lovers’ hands behind their back or over their head. Use an ice cube or massage oil candle to feel a different sensation. Seducing and teasing your lover is a great way to spice things up. For more inspiration, click here for 5 kinky games from Jaiya, an award-winning sexologist.

Kegel Balls

Thanks to 50 Shades, women now know and understand the benefits of these little balls of pleasure. What are kegel balls or ben wa balls? They are excellent for your sexual health, specifically, your pelvic floor health. They are discreet and comfortable to wear for many hours, if you wish. They can be used in a variety of ways. Our favorites are the kinds that have a smaller ball that jiggles inside them like the Fun Factory Smartballs or the Je Joue Ami.


We love that music is its own character in the book. Music can be a relaxing tool as well as a powerful aphrodisiac. Opera, classical and powerful vocals that do not have words can be erotic and put you in the mood for sexual play. Listen to the music from the book or make your own list of favorite sexy music. Or, if you want to take things to the next level, try an OhMiBod vibrator, like the OhMiBod blueMotion that vibrates to music!


Believe it or not, restraints or handcuffs can be playful. Yes – because it adds another dimension to sexual play or another way to spice things up. Remember when you impede once sense, all of the other senses are heightened. Restraints should be beautiful yet also do their job of restraining. Try the beautiful LELO Etherea wrist cuffs or BondAids handcuffs. If you want to try something that’s a little bit more daring, like rope, make sure that you get a hemp or natural fiber rope like the Bettie Page Bondage Rope. And don’t forget to always be safe when it comes to playing with restraints.

Luxury Vibrators

Like so many women, Ana was a newbie to the world of vibrators. Thanks to Christian, she became a fan! In one scene, he also used music and a blindfold with the vibrator. Which is the best luxury vibrator for you? Everyone’s body is different and everyone likes different things.  Part of the fun of using a vibrator is experimenting with different types to discover what you like best. Read more about how to choose the right vibrator for you here.

Just like Ana opened herself to an entirely different world from what she was used to, it’s time for you to try new things and experiment. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t have the same experience as Ana on your first try. It takes skill and practice for most of us, unless you have a lover like Christian! Be patient with yourself and your lover. Always remember to be open and honest with yourself especially when it comes to new types of sexual play and exploration. The entire point is to create and live your own fantasy!


Top 5 LELO Vibrators



LELO toys are synonymous with luxury and high quality. Launched in 2003, LELO AB is the Swedish company who was one of the first manufacturers to transform the look, feel & function of how adult toys are perceived.

With that in mind, LELO designs some of the best vibrators in the market today. Discreet, well made and powerful, LELO vibrators and sex toys do not disappoint.

Here are our top 5 LELO toys and vibrators:

LELO Mona 2 Vibrator – Preferred by those who enjoy girth and fullness, this curvy vibrator with a wide middle will drive your G-spot crazy! It is waterproof, rechargeable and excellent for travel since it locks. The buttons are super easy to use and find in the dark. The deep vibration from the motor is perfect on the clitoris and is the perfect angle to hold against your vulva.

LELO Gigi 2 Vibrator – Some women don’t like a large vibrator or a sense of fullness . . . and there’s nothing wrong with that. The best LELO G-spot vibrator for those who want something a little less intimidating is the Gigi 2. Smaller and more petite than Mona 2, it has a curved shape with a flattened tip that is designed to directly massage the G-spot. It is also waterproof, rechargeable and excellent for travel since it also locks. The buttons are similar to Mona’s and are easy to use. Many women like using Gigi 2 externally to stimulate the clitoris.

LELO Lyla 2 Vibrator – Lyla 2 is a powerful, quiet bullet vibrator that also works as a remote control vibrating egg. Designed to be used externally, it can be used internally as well for discreet sensations with a partner or hands-free solo pleasure. Its gentle contours and light weight ensures that it stays perfectly in position at all times, comfortably and pleasurably.

LELO Ora Vibrator – Ora is a beautiful external vibrator that simulates the same pleasurable feelings of oral sex. This oral sex simulator has a unique stimulator that provides fast flicks, circular swirls and intense vibrations on and around the clitoris. Ora is a LELO vibrator that works best for women with a clitoris that is easily accessible and not nestled in the labia.

LELO Smart Wand  Massager – Although corded massagers are super powerful, they aren’t convenient and they aren’t for everyone. You need an electrical outlet and they can’t go into the shower or bath tub. Not everyone can handle that kind of power. Both the Large and Medium sized Smart Wands are discreet and beautiful yet still powerful. These waterproof and fully-rechargeable handheld massagers also feature SenseTouch™ Technology that turns on and intensifies vibration strength when the wand tip touches your skin.

The LELO massager also has the largest motor of any LELO vibrator. This means that it offers a powerful vibe on its highest setting, and when turned down low, a deep rumble that feels great on the shoulders after a long day.

No matter what LELO vibrator you choose, you won’t regret it! As one of the premier luxury adult toy manufacturers, LELO toys are high quality products that are not only beautiful and discreet but are built to last!


What is Electro-Sex?


Electricity and sex . . . .  Wouldn’t that hurt or be dangerous? Do they go together? Actually they do.


Electrical impulses are constantly running through our body. The body those electrical impulses all the time to exchange information between nerve endings and the brain. Those electrical impulses help us to then feel touch and more importantly . . . pleasure.

And where are the most nerve endings that love pleasure? Down there! That is why you are so sensitive in that area. With the right stimulator, each of these nerves can be tingled for ultimate pleasure. When done correctly, electrostimulation can be very erotic.

E-stim (short for electrical stimulation) has become more and more popular the past couple of years. Why? Because it doesn’t hurt – It feels good!

Really? Yes!

Let’s not forget that electrostimulation has been used in the medical field for many years to treat chromic pain or rebuild muscles strength. It doesn’t hurt — it can help you! Along the way, someone decided to experiment with stimulating other body parts.

Who Does Erotic Electrostimulation?

Electro-sex is not just for people into BDSM. It can be for anyone who enjoys pleasure and is willing to try something new and different. Whether alone or with a partner, you can try electro-sex. Although we might admit that it is more fun with a partner!

What Does It Feel Like?

It could be anything from a gentle tickle to a strong stimulation.

Electro Sex for Beginners

The easiest way to try electro-sex is with an electro-sex sex toy. These toys can be used for solo or couple play. No matter what the situation you are in, there is a whole world of things you can do and try that may get you to a fast and intense orgasm, or steadily maintain a slowly spreading tingling sensation that will keep you happy for hours and hours.

To get started, you will need:

  • An e-stim toy that transfers those electrical impulses to your skin
  • A good understanding of what is safe and what is not

The First Time

With this kind of toy, it’s best to try it out first and experiment in your hand instead of your genitals. Make sure to communicate and set ground rules before you begin. Also make sure that you or your partner are not wearing rings or metal bracelets.

Turn the toy on slowly going through all of the modes. When you’re done experimenting, it’s time to turn the e-stim toy off.

Remember: Always turn off the current before you let go off the toy.

When you are ready to use the toy on your genitals, make sure to use a generous amount of water-based lubricant.

Our favorite e-stim toy, the Mystim e-stim Vibrator, uses both vibration and electrical stimulation for unbelievable pleasure. The toy has a conductive surface that runs the entire length of the shaft with 5 electrical stimulation programs and 10 speeds. Combine that with 2 powerful and silent motors at the tip and shaft that have 8 vibration patterns and speeds. WOW!

Ready to experiment with erotic electrostimulation and try something new?


18 Health Benefits of Orgasms


Mae West was ahead of her time when she said, “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.” An orgasm isn’t just pleasurable — it also makes you healthier and improves the overall quality of your life.

According to sex educator Charlie Glickman, “Pleasure supports well-being.” Another way to think about it as sexologist Jaiya suggests, “Orgasms equal long life.” Knowing that, you should be having an orgasm everyday no matter how old you are! Ok – maybe that’s not reasonable for many of us, but once a week is definitely doable.

So, how do orgasms actually keep you healthy? First and foremost, orgasms feel good and make you happy. They are also responsible for so many other things that keep both women’s and men’s bodies healthy.

Benefits of Orgasm for Women:

1. Improves Everything “Down There”

For women, orgasms improve circulation to the organs in the pelvic cavity. They also deliver nutrients “down there” and promote normal estrogen levels to keep everything healthy and ready for action. The extra blood flow from an orgasm rushes to the tissues in this area, helping them stay toned, young and strong.

Orgasms also help the pituitary gland, which regulates the release of reproductive hormones that induce ovulation and cervical fluid to increase fertility.

(For both men and women, orgasms help keep everything in place and working they right way. They decrease incontinence and other pelvic floor related disorders among seniors.)

2. Helps You Sleep

Have you ever had an orgasm and then immediately fallen asleep? That is not only because you have used a lot of energy. It’s also because orgasms release many different hormones that relax you and make you drowsy.

After an orgasm, oxytocin is created, which then triggers the release of endorphins. These endorphins often make you sleepy. Oxytocin can also to reduce your cortisol levels (an inflammatory hormone released by the adrenal glands) to create even more relaxation and/or sleepiness.

Yet another hormone that’s released after an orgasm is prolactin, which causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb (or smell centre). Prolactin levels are naturally higher during sleep. In women, prolactin is known to surge after sex, during pregnancy and while breastfeeding.

Just in case you are wondering, the tendency to fall asleep first after sex is also associated with greater partner desire for bonding and affection. Whether or not you believe these findings from the University of Michigan and Albright College is up to you.

3. Helps You Look Younger

The hormone DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) released during sex maintains and repairs tissue and promotes healthy skin. In other words, it helps you look younger. Studies show that having sex three times a week (when in a stress free relationship) can make you look almost 10 years younger!

4. Boosts The Immune System

Orgasms can help to balance the immune system, which can combat colds and the flu. During orgasm, your body releases an antibody known as immunoglobulin A. This chemical boosts the immune system, providing protection from infections and viruses.

Let’s not forget that orgasms gives your body a natural lymphatic massage. They help your body’s natural detoxification process to kill bacteria and viruses.

5. Clears Your Stuffy Nose

Have no fear if you do get sick — orgasms can still help you feel better! The same prolactin hormone that was mentioned earlier also stimulates neurons in your nose. This will clear up stuffy sinuses and heighten your sense of smell.

6. Relieves Pain

Believe it or not, orgasms can help you decrease and manage pain by about 70%. Orgasms can more than double a woman’s tolerance for pain. “When women had orgasms, their pain thresholds went up by more than 108%,” says Beverly Whipple, researcher and professor emeritus at Rutgers University and co-author of The Science of Orgasm.

Why? Those endorphins not only help you sleep, but they are also a natural drug-free way to beat pain. Plus, it’s analgesic, not an anesthetic, meaning it suppresses pain without affecting sensitivity to touch.

7. Helps With Your Period

The painkilling properties of orgasms can be helpful when you have your period. They can also help to regulate your menstrual cycle. Women who have sex at least once a week are more likely to have normal cycles than women who don’t. Also, studies have shown that having orgasms while having your period protects against endometriosis, a uterine condition that can lead to infertility.

8. Helps Prevent Breast Cancer

Oxytocin is awesome. The more oxytocin you have, the better the orgasm. Plus, it helps you sleep. Oxytocin has also been shown to possibly prevent breast cancer cells from developing into a tumor.

9. Reduces The Risk Of Heart Disease

Some studies have shown that orgasms can lower blood pressure levels among women. High blood pressure can lead to heart attacks. Therefore, having sex 2 to 3 times a week might decrease the risk of heart attack.

10. Makes You Less Hungry

Oxytocin works in so many ways! It raises levels of a substance called CCK, which acts as a hunger suppressant. The oxytocin also fights the harmful effects of cortisol, which is well known for its role in boosting belly fat and cravings for carbs.

Let’s not forget the dopamine that we get from sex, which increases steadily to the point of orgasm and then declines. Dopamine helps curb your appetite as well. The dopamine pathways in the brain involved in stimulating your desire for both sex and food are shut down by the hormones released immediately after your have an orgasm.

11. Reduces Risk Of Mild Depression

How can you be depressed when you are having orgasms on a regular basis? They feel so good! Those endorphins that are released not only prevent pain and help you sleep, but they also produce euphoria and pleasure.

The awesome hormone, oxytocin, may lower rates of depression and anxiety by counteracting cortisol, which can cause stress and depression.

12. Exercise

According to WebMD, sex burns about 5 calories per minute. It might sound like very little, but at least it’s better than sitting in front of the computer or television!

13. Helps Your Memory

Having sex keeps your brain sharp and can improve brain function. In increasing blood circulation, it transports oxygen-enriched blood to the hypothalamus, the part of your brain that controls memory and learning.

In fact, some scientists suggest that enjoying regular orgasms is an excellent way to improve memory. According to neuroscientist, Professor Barry Komisaruk, “mental exercises increase brain activity but only in relatively localized regions.” Every little bit helps especially as you get older!

14. Cures Hiccups

Orgasms stimulate the vagus nerve, a long nerve that runs from the stem of the brain down to all the internal organs in the chest, pelvis and abdomen. The late Dr. Francis Fesmire said that stimulating this nerve is the best way to cure a case of hiccups. It might be hard to concentrate, but it’s worth a shot!

15. Boosts Testosterone Levels

Sexual function is a lot like a muscle — if you don’t use it, you lose it and all of the hormonal benefits that come with it. Women who enjoy more orgasms have increased estrogen and testosterone. That translates to more sexual desire, it makes you feel sexier, and it improves you mood.

16. Helps With Stomach Issues

The awesome and powerful oxytocin also helps to lower blood pressure and can improve digestion. Oxytocin receptors have been found in the stomach, showing that oxytocin can even calm some stomach issues.

17. Fights Morning Sickness

Many pregnant women experience morning sickness. Psychologist Gordon Gallup suggests that a man’s sperm can relieve some of the symptoms. He believe that since sperm was what made you sick, building up a tolerance is the only way to fix your nausea. So, try oral sex! At least, it will make him happy!

Benefits of Orgasm for Men:

18. Reduces Risk Of Prostate Cancer

According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, a higher frequency of ejaculations is related to a decreased risk of prostate cancer. And, don’t forget prostate massages! They will make him healthier, and he will also experience an orgasm like no other!

There are so many things that we are supposed to do to stay healthy that we don’t really enjoy. Orgasms are definitely not one of them!

Buy luxury sex toys from My Secret Luxury to help you stay healthy.


The Secrets to Better, Stronger Orgasms For Women


So many women don’t realize that pleasure (and orgasms) is their birthright. One part of a woman’s body, the clitoris, has no other job besides giving her pleasure. Some women are very lucky — they orgasm very easily. Other women have a very hard time achieving an orgasm. Since My Secret Luxury is all about your pursuit of pleasure, we thought it was time to help women achieve those orgasms they so rightly deserve!


You Need Oxytocin

Although Oxytocin plays an important role in sexual reproduction (during and after childbirth), some researchers believe that it might also be the key to better orgasms, according to a new study. Specifically they found that more oxytocin increased the intensity of orgasm and contentment after sexual intercourse.

So how do you get more oxytocin? Touching or showing your love to your partner can increase oxytocin. Sometimes, hearing the words, “I love you” or “I want you” can also get those oxytocin levels higher.

Foreplay is Key

Just like you are supposed to stretch before you exercise or get all of your ingredients organized before you start cooking, foreplay is what you should do for orgasmic results in the bedroom. Whether it is touching, dirty talk or teasing, foreplay is 100% necessary for women. Most women need about 20 minutes for best results.

Use Personal Lubricant

You might think that you don’t need lube because you are wet enough or nothing is wrong with you. WRONG! Personal lubricant enhances sexual play and makes it better and more enjoyable. Use the right kind of lubricant for the right situation.

Read more about Lube 101

Practice Makes Perfect

Did your mother always tell you to practice? Why? Because it made you better at whatever you were doing. It’s so important to figure out what you like and don’t like. It will increase the likelihood of an orgasm with a partner when you figure out how to do it by yourself. Masturbating is the key to knowing how your body works and reacts to stimulation.

Resist Temptation

It really is true: good things come to those who wait. The longer you hold off, the sweeter the reward!


Edging or orgasm control is used to describe when you come as close to the orgasm edge as possible without actually having an orgasm. In other words, when you are just about to orgasm, you STOP. Yes, that’s right — STOP. If you keep repeating this about 3 or 4 times, you will build up to a bigger and more intense orgasm.

The Very Important Clitoris

One of the major reasons why women have trouble reaching orgasm during sex is because the clit is not getting enough attention. For over 70% of women, clitoral stimulation IS the only way they will orgasm. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s just how women are made. Taking that into consideration, clitoral stimulation should be a top priority.

Use the Right Luxury Sex Toys

Of course, this one is our favorite! So what if you need to use a vibrator to orgasm? It’s a much better option than not having an orgasm at all! Luxury vibrators are more powerful, last longer, feel softer and never complain!

See our best selling sex toys.

Eat The Right Foods

Can certain foods and herbs boost your libido? Some say yes and some say no. A plate of greasy food will definitely not help your orgasm, but there’s no harm in trying everything else! We all need to eat!

Exercise Your Kegels

Why exercise your kegel muscles? Because strong pelvic floor muscles are the key to stronger orgasms! It’s hard enough to get to the gym, but luckily, you can exercise your kegel muscles right from the comfort of your own home. It’s very easy to do with luxury kegel exercisers. Plus, some have small balls inside that vibrate for the extra reward for exercising!


Speaking about exercise . . . not only should you exercise your kegel muscles, you should also exercise the rest of your body! Not only does excercise make you more confident (and allows you to fit into that sexy bikini or dress) it also benefits you in the bedroom for those marathon sex sessions or crazy sexual positions!


What’s your secret for better orgasms?