Got Sex Questions? How To Get Answers

Got Sex Questions-How To Get Answers

Written by Kait Scalisi MPH, Director of Education and Training, My Secret Luxury and My Secret Soiree

Over the last five years leading adult sex toy parties and doing sexuality consultations, I’ve learned that most everyone has questions about sex. The questions vary a lot in terms of breadth and depth, but everyone, myself included, has them.

Maybe you’ve been in a relationship for 20 years and are looking to add more variety and fun into your sex life. Maybe you just started a family and find you and your partner struggling to communicate effectively and with empathy. Maybe you’ve only been together for a short time and realize your your partner have some major hangups about sex that are making this part of your relationship really difficult.

Whatever the reason, you find yourself full of questions about your sexual health and pleasure needs and desires. So you do what any smart person does: consult the all-mighty Google. You quickly realize there are a lot more options out there to get the the answers you need.

Now the question is: If you have sex questions, how do you get answers?

It all comes down to the type of questions you have and what type of strategies work best for you. If, for example, you’re looking to learn about adult sex toys and how to talk to your partner about using them during sex, both a sex toy soirée and sexuality consultation(s) can provide the information and skills you need.

The difference here comes down to format: do you want a fun night with friends during which you also learn or do you want targeted strategies and individual guidance? Similarly, sex coaches, counselors, therapists and sexologists can help you navigate mismatched sex drives. However, how they go about working with you can vary dramatically, ranging from energy work to talk therapy.

Different sexuality professionals have different skill sets and goals. None are better or worse than the other: it all comes down to what you need. The beauty of this is that you always have someone else to turn to if one question leads to another..and another…and another!

The following options are listed in order of increasingly depth and individualized help.

Host a Soiree

My Secret Soirees are the perfect first step if you’re looking for some practical tips and tools to keep your sex life and relationship exciting so that you get the pleasure that you deserve. In addition to having a great time with friends, you’ll learn about topics like sexual anatomy and function, how to introduce toys in the bedroom, and what types of toys can help with specific sexual complaints. All soirees are led by a trained sex educator who also is there to answer additional questions you may have or point you in the direction of the best answers.

Sexuality Consultation, Counseling, or Coaching

Perhaps you are looking for something a little bit more personal. You have some specific questions or concerns that you want to address not in a group. Seeking out a sex educator, counselor, sexologist, or coach is the next best step. These individuals are trained to educate and problem solve, specifically to help you have the best sex and relationship possible. You generally work with them for shorter periods of time (one session to a few months) and focus on more concrete and acute problems. The main differences among them is in their approach to working with you. This varies by individual and can include breath work, readings, sexual communication exercises, practical sex tips, and more.

My Secret Luxury offers complimentary 15-minute consultations with our Director of Education and Training. Click here for more information or to schedule a session.

Sex Therapy

If you’ve tried the first few options or feel your sex concerns are rooted in deeper issues, sex therapy is your best option. Like all of the other practitioners, sex therapists help their clients have amazing sex and relationships. However, they also are licensed mental health providers. This means both that their training is regulated and they can provide more intensive therapy.

Sessions can include counseling, education, and coaching as well as specialized treatment for complex or coincident issues such as depression or a history of trauma. Similar to any other therapist, sex therapists may have different modalities they work with such as talk therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and family systems therapy.

It’s important to note that sex therapists are not the same as couples’ or relationship therapists. These focus more on the relationship and personal factors and may not have the knowledge or training to discuss sex beyond the basics.

For more information on sex therapy, check out What is a Sex Therapist? To find a certified sex therapist near you, click here.

Now that we’ve gone over the different types of people you can work with, you may be wondering how to choose someone who is right for you.

Here are 3 steps to finding the best sex professional for you:

  1. Choose the type of help you want. A soirée, short counseling, or intensive therapy? Be honest with yourself here: what is really going to help you have the amazing sex, relationship or pleasure you deserve?
  2. Research research research! Make sure whoever you’re seeing has the credentials to back them up. Certifications aren’t everything but they can tell you how much education and training a professional had had in their specific specialty. If you aren’t familiar with a certification, look into it, paying special attention to the education topics and hours of supervised work required.
  3. Make sure it’s a good fit. You have a few potential options in mind. Check out their blogs and social media to get a better sense of who they are. If it is an option, schedule a short meeting. If it isn’t offered, ask if you can chat for 15-20 minutes to ensure you’re well suited for each other. Remember, this work is a two-way street. You need to feel comfortable with them and they need to have the skills and knowledge to really help solve your individual concerns.

We all need a little help from time to time, and sex is definitely no exception! It may seem overwhelming, but there is a resource out there that is perfectly matched to help you get your your sexy on again or for the first time. Remember that none of these options are better than the other – it is based on what you need in order to experience the amazing sex, pleasure and relationship you deserve. Ultimately, it is all about what is best for you!

Never Had An Orgasm? The Afterglow Will Help!

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Unfortunately, so many women have never had an orgasm. That could be due to one or more reasons:

  • They have experienced sexual trauma
  • They don’t deserve pleasure
  • Their partner doesn’t value their pleasure

It’s time that women take control of their own pleasure and achieve that orgasm that they deserve!

Dr. Ralph Zimmer, a Flordia urogynecologist, who treats overactive bladder disease, stumbled upon away to help women finally achieve that elusive orgasm. He made an incredible discovery while using his laser treatment procedure, Photobiomodulation, to treat infections and reduce pain for overactive bladders.

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Dr. Zimmer believed that laser stimulates blood flow and relaxes muscles in patients during treatment. Based on his patients’s reports, Dr. Zimmer realized he and his team had accidentally discovered “laser Viagra.” His patients were reporting amazing explosive orgasms!

Viagra amplifies the amount of blood-flow increasing chemical called cGMP by blocking the body from breaking it down. Pulsed infrared light increases the body’s level of the same chemical by sending it’s production into overdrive right where you need it.

All vibrators can help a woman have an orgasm. However, if the body is not biological (and emotional) receptive to having an orgasm, it won’t happen. The Afterglow vibrator is the first laser-equipped sex toy that guides a woman through the 4 stages of the sexual response cycle to achieve an orgasm.

The Afterglow doesn’t actually contain lasers, but uses internal near-infrared and visible blue and red light diodes, which are lesser versions of the deep penetrating lasers, to induce an orgasm.

It does this with the PulseWave O mode. It is an pre-programmed 8-minute setting where the luxury vibrator cycles through 4 unique 2-minute long vibration patterns while pulsing the cGMP-inducing near-infrared light.

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Patience is key. As time goes on, blood flow, sensitivity & pleasure build exponentially. For women, who have never had an orgasm, they will think it’s worth the wait!

“I . . .  ordered [the Afterglow] for my wife. . . . She is 40 years old and had never had an orgasm. . . . We tried vaginal, oral, & anal sex but nothing worked. The first night the afterglow came in the mail my wife & I had 2 glasses of wine then I relaxed her with message & took out the afterglow. It was amazing. She did not know what to do with herself. After about 15 min she had an explosive orgasm & followed that with one more about 8 min later. Since then, we use it together on her once a week . . . & now she orgasms in about 5 minutes & usually has 3 or 4 in less than 30 minutes. . . . It is the best money I ever spent & both of us look forward to it each weekend.”

Afterglow features a super quiet motor and lights off mode, so no one has to know what you are up to. The user interface has large silicone buttons that are easy to feel and identify, even in the dark or with your eyes closed.

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Afterglow has lots of options to experiment with. It has 15 different vibration modes and 85 unique wave combinations.

Travel is easy with Afterglow’s travel lock (press the “+” and “-” at the same time for 3 seconds). Plus, it is powered by lithium-ion battery that can be charged via a USB port.

For women who have trouble experiencing or never had an orgasm, Afterglow can be very helpful. It guides your body through the sexual response cycle that is needed to climax.

Your orgasm will thank you!

Buy the Afterglow Vibrator

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How Do Kegel Exercises Enhance Pleasure and Sex?

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Kegels + Pleasure = YES Please!

 

Written by Kait Scalisi MPH, Director of Education and Training, My Secret Luxury and My Secret Soiree


If you are an adult in the post-Fifty Shades of Grey era, you understand when I say, “those silver balls.”

You may even know their technical name (it’s Ben Wa balls FYI) and that they help you do your Kegel exercises.  But do you really know what any of that means? Or how it relates to your pleasure and sex?

If not, you’re not alone. And keep reading.

Anatomy 101

First up: a quick anatomy lesson. As you learned in the science of orgasms, when you orgasm, what you actually experience is a series of super fast muscle contractions. What muscles are involved in your climax?

“Those would be the muscles of the uterus, vagina, pelvis, penis, anus, and prostate gland. These are known as the pelvic diaphragm and the urogenital muscles. They support your pelvic organs (e.g. bladder, uterus, and prostate) and help you stop the flow of pee midstream. The PC muscles, which you may have heard of or even strengthened through Kegel exercises, are part of this system.”

These muscles, in turn, are directly connected to those of your core, including your abs and buttocks. This is why you may sometimes find your legs twitching or you roll up during orgasm.

Because of this connectivity, there are two schools of thought regarding the best way to strengthen all these muscles, which from here on out I’ll be referring to as your orgasm muscles.

One school says: “Kegels Kegels Kegels!”

The other says: “Kegels are horrendous! Focus on core work instead.”

I recommend taking a middle ground. First, let’s explore why some folks don’t advise doing Kegels.

The Problem with Kegels

Kegels can be wonderful tools when done correctly. Properly exercising your Kegels means both tightening and releasing the muscles. Like with any exercise, the relaxation bit is as important as, if not more so than, the tightening/contraction. Why? Repeat after me:

Tight muscles are not strong muscles.

If you’ve ever had a charley horse in your leg or a knot in your back, you know what I mean. So if you’re doing Kegels without the help of exercisers, focus on the letting go part.

Additionally, for people, especially women, suffering from sexual pain, doing Kegels at all may contribute to the pain cycle. Though Kegels are often discussed as an amazing treatment, not everyone with pelvic floor issues should do them.

If you have pelvic pain, please consult with a pelvic floor physical therapist or an ob/gyn with experience treating painful before doing Kegels.

Why Kegels Rock!

Ok – so Kegels have to be done properly and they aren’t for everyone. Now that we’ve established that, let’s talk about why they are so darn amazing.

Stronger orgasms . . . .

And a boatload of other sexual health benefits such as prevention of incontinence and helping before and after pregnancy. Because orgasms are just muscle contractions, strengthening those muscles lets you have stronger contractions and therefore, more pleasure.

As you learned above though, it’s not only the PC muscles that lead to great pelvic health. It’s the whole pelvic diaphragm, urogenital muscle complex, and core. Quite simply this means the the absolute best practice for your strongest orgasm is a combination of both Kegels and core work.

Extra bonus: a stronger core helps you have more vigorous, adventurous sex, which also helps you have stronger orgasms!

Now I am not saying you should go out and start an intense exercise regimen. Obviously, exercise is good for you. But what I do recommend is combining these best practices to make exercise even more fun.

That’s right, work your Kegels while you workout. Multitasking your way to better orgasms!

Kegel Exercisers

You can do strengthen your Kegel muscles thanks to fabulous tools called Kegel exercisers. These include the Ben Wa balls as well as Kegel balls, which are larger and often have a string attached for easy removal.

I personally recommend the Lelo Luna Beads. Each set has four balls so you can add weight as your muscles strengthen. Additionally, they can be fully sterilized in boiling water. Lastly, they provide a fabulous rumble-y sensation when you wear them.

All Kegels balls have a smaller ball inside that moves around when you do things like walk, use the elliptical, go up stairs (or a stair machine), squat, etc. So if the argument above regarding the benefit of working out and doing Kegels didn’t convince you, maybe the idea that you’re getting vibrations against your G-spot while you work out will.

You’ll be to only one smiling on the elliptical!

Buy Kegel exercisers here.

One Final Thought

To strengthen a muscle, there must be a force put against it. For the PC muscles, this force is gravity. That means Kegels balls work best when you’re standing. Gravity pulls down on them and your muscles must tighten to keep them in.

To recap: to get the strongest orgasms, use a combo of Kegels and exercises that strengthen your core muscles, especially your abs and butt. You can do both at once and enjoy working out (even more) thanks to Kegels balls. 

Have questions? Kait, our resident sex educator, is here to answer them. Email her here.

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Special thanks to Anthony Rojas, DPT and Heather Jeffcoat, DPT for contributing knowledge for this article.  

The Science of Orgasms

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Learn all about the Science behind Orgasms.

Most  people would agree that orgasms are pretty awesome. They feel amazing and provide a whole plethora of benefits. But have you ever wondered what exactly goes on during an orgasm? Let’s break it down. After all, knowledge is power and in this case “power” comes in the form of experiencing more pleasure. Cheers to that!

What is an orgasm?

At the most basic level, an orgasm is simply a series of muscle contractions. For women, these contractions occur in a rhythmic pattern, like the beat in a song. The contractions often, but not always, are accompanied by lots of pleasurable sensations, full body muscle spasms, and a feeling of release or letting go. This means there are different “levels” of orgasm, from quiet whispers to full body, curtain-climbing fireworks. So if you kind of feel like you got there but then there was just…nothing? It was an orgasm. :)

The Sexual Response Cycle

Leading up to and during the Big O, your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing increase. After an orgasm, there are often feelings of deep relaxation and satiation.

In order to reach orgasm, your body must go through a sequence of physical and emotional changes as you become aroused.

Phase 1: Excitement

This is where arousal begins either by initial contact or in your mind. [Read more about how the brain is the largest and most important sex organ here.] Examples may include but are not limited to: kissing; watching your partner undress; reading erotic fiction; watching pornography; talking dirty.

This phase, which lasts from a few minutes to many hours, can include:

- Blood flow to the genital area increases (swelling of a woman’s clitoris and labia minor (inner lips) and erection of a the man’s penis)

- Muscle tension increases

- Breathing is accelerated

- Vaginal lubrication for women increases

- Skin is flushed

- Nipples are hardened or erect

- Women’s breasts are fuller and vaginal walls begin to swell

- Men’s testicles swell, scrotum tightens and discharge of lubricating liquid

Phase 2: Plateau

For women, this phase is dominated by increased blood flow to the clitoris and vaginal walls. Breathing and heart rate also increase. This is right before you orgasm.

This phase, which lasts only a few seconds, can include:

- The changes in Phase 1 increase

- The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow and the vaginal walls turn a dark purple

- The woman’s clitoris becomes very sensitive and retracts under the clitoral hood

- The man’s testicles are withdrawn up into the scrotum

- Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands

Phase 3: Orgasm

This is the climax of the sexual response cycle.

This phase can include:

- Involuntary muscle contractions

- Blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing are at their highest rates with a rapid intake of oxygen.

- Muscles spam in the feet

- Sudden any maybe forceful release of sexual tension

- Women’s vagina muscles and uterus contracts

- Some men ejaculate semen

- A rash or “sex flush” may appear on the body

Phase 4: Resolution

This is the final stage of the sexual response cycle. Blood flow decreases and the body returns to its normal state. This phase is marked by a state of calmness, enhanced intimacy and, for many, fatigue.

Men experience a refractory period during which time they cannot get another erection or orgasm. This refractory period varies among men and unfortunately gets longer as men age. Women don’t have a refractory period and some report feeling even more aroused post-climax. Therefore, women can experience sequential and multiple orgasms.

What’s the difference?

Sequential orgasms happen one immediately after another; as one stops, the next begins. Multiple orgasms happen over a longer period of time. Men can also experience multiples if they want to keep going after the refractory period.

Must you ejaculate to have an orgasm? 

No. People of all genders can climax without it! [Read more about female ejaculation.]

What muscles contract?

Those would be the muscles of the uterus, vagina, pelvis, penis, anus, and prostate gland. These are known as the pelvic diaphragm and the urogenital muscles. They support your pelvic organs (e.g. bladder, uterus, and prostrate) and help you stop the flow of pee midstream. The PC muscles, which you may have heard of or even strengthened through Kegels exercises, are part of this system.

Because everything in the human body is connected to everything else (true story!), when these muscles contract they may also send the signal to surrounding muscle groups, like your abs and legs. This is why many people experience leg twitches, arch their back, or curl up during orgasm.

Are there different types of orgasms?

Women can experience both clitoral and G-spot orgasms. Clitoral orgasms include those that happen during penetration because the clitoris includes more than just that “little button” you can see outside the body. This internal clitoris can be stimulated in a variety of ways including vulva massage and penetration.

The G-spot, however, is made up of a different a type of tissue. A G-spot orgasm often feels stronger and spread out over a larger area than a clitoral one. In other words, rather than the pleasure and good feeling being focused in and around the vulva, it spreads throughout the body.

What’s the best way to reach orgasm?

Whatever way feels best to you! Keep in mind that approximately 70% of women need some sort of clitoral stimulation to orgasm.

I want stronger or more frequent orgasm. What can I do to achieve them?

Three things: strengthen your orgasm muscles, sexual stimulants, and practice!

  1. The best way to strengthen your orgasm muscles is through a combination of both core work (abs and butt exercises) and Kegels. Kegels exercisers or ben wa balls help with the latter. They are great to wear during workouts for an extra special exercise routine!
  2. Sexual stimulants increase blood flow to the genitals. Essentially this helps you get aroused more easily and makes everything down there more sensitive.
  3. Practice makes perfect, right? Practice edging – bringing yourself right there (you know — just before you orgasm) — and then stop. Do this again if you’d like. As it gets easier, bring yourself closer and closer until you just can’t take it anymore.

I struggle with orgasm. Why is that and what can I do? 

There are both physical and psychological reasons people struggle to orgasm. New research shows that what you think about during sex has a huge impact on your ability to climax. Other people may simply need to use more personal lubricant, have longer foreplay or need a vibrator. [Read more about painful sex here.] For others, anxiety or a history of trauma may make it difficult to enjoy pleasure and touch.

Have a question about orgasm? Our sexpert and Director of Education and Training is here to answer them! Send in your question here. It’s completely confidential.

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High Quality Adult Sex Toys of Fifty Shades of Grey

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See our picks for the best High Quality Sex Toys from Fifty Shades of Grey!

Fifty Shades of Grey is on everyone’s mind for one reason or another. Love or hate E.L. James’ sexy series, the movie will be out February 2015. After reading the book(s), many women wanted to recreate the same sexual experience and pleasure (!) that Ana had. Shortly after the phenomenon, Fifty Shades of Grey inspired many of their own branded pleasure products — from BDSM gear and equipment to adult sex toys to adult lotions and potions.

Unfortunately, since My Secret Luxury is the ultimate authority on luxury sex toys and accessories, those Fifty Shades of Grey official products don’t meet our quality standards. So, here are our picks for products that meet our high quality standards.

High Quality Adult Sex Toys of 50 Shades:

Blindfolds

Christian used a blindfold many times on Ana. He takes away her sense of sight, which leaves her wondering what is about to happen next. When you hinder one sense, all the others are heightened. It creates the feeling of excitement, but only if your lover feels safe with you. Our favorite blindfolds are the Bettie Page Blackout Blindfold and the LELO Intima Silk Blindfold.

Butt Plugs

For Christian’s birthday, Ana gives him a box with a few items she is curious to play with. One of the items is a metal butt plug. Although Christian explains that this is much too advanced for her and he starts with a finger, you may be ready to try one of these yourself. Why is anal play so pleasurable? For women, the clitoral legs and all of their amazing sensory nerve endings can extend all the way down to the anus. It’s very important with anal play to start small and of course, use lots of anal lubricant. Our favorite beginner butt plug is the Chrome Blossom Little Bud.

Crops

There are a wide variety of crops out there and only the highest quality products are worth your money. If you are beginner, it’s best for you and your lover to learn how to you a crop properly. We recommend starting with a wider crop so that it hits a larger surface area, which lessens the sting and is less painful for the receiver. You can then graduate to the smaller crop that Christian uses on Ana’s clitoris in the first book. To begin, try the Fashionistas Riding Crop or the Madame Mystique Crop.

Games 

Games of submission and dominance can add variety in the bedroom. You don’t need to buy a game or do anything formal. Blindfold your lover. Tie your lovers’ hands behind their back or over their head. Use an ice cube or massage oil candle to feel a different sensation. Seducing and teasing your lover is a great way to spice things up. For more inspiration, click here for 5 kinky games from Jaiya, an award-winning sexologist.

Kegel Balls

Thanks to 50 Shades, women now know and understand the benefits of these little balls of pleasure. What are kegel balls or ben wa balls? They are excellent for your sexual health, specifically, your pelvic floor health. They are discreet and comfortable to wear for many hours, if you wish. They can be used in a variety of ways. Our favorites are the kinds that have a smaller ball that jiggles inside them like the Fun Factory Smartballs or the Je Joue Ami.

Music

We love that music is its own character in the book. Music can be a relaxing tool as well as a powerful aphrodisiac. Opera, classical and powerful vocals that do not have words can be erotic and put you in the mood for sexual play. Listen to the music from the book or make your own list of favorite sexy music. Or, if you want to take things to the next level, try an OhMiBod vibrator, like the OhMiBod blueMotion that vibrates to music!

Restraints

Believe it or not, restraints or handcuffs can be playful. Yes – because it adds another dimension to sexual play or another way to spice things up. Remember when you impede once sense, all of the other senses are heightened. Restraints should be beautiful yet also do their job of restraining. Try the beautiful LELO Etherea wrist cuffs or BondAids handcuffs. If you want to try something that’s a little bit more daring, like rope, make sure that you get a hemp or natural fiber rope like the Bettie Page Bondage Rope. And don’t forget to always be safe when it comes to playing with restraints.

Luxury Vibrators

Like so many women, Ana was a newbie to the world of vibrators. Thanks to Christian, she became a fan! In one scene, he also used music and a blindfold with the vibrator. Which is the best luxury vibrator for you? Everyone’s body is different and everyone likes different things.  Part of the fun of using a vibrator is experimenting with different types to discover what you like best. Read more about how to choose the right vibrator for you here.

Just like Ana opened herself to an entirely different world from what she was used to, it’s time for you to try new things and experiment. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t have the same experience as Ana on your first try. It takes skill and practice for most of us, unless you have a lover like Christian! Be patient with yourself and your lover. Always remember to be open and honest with yourself especially when it comes to new types of sexual play and exploration. The entire point is to create and live your own fantasy!

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Top 5 LELO Vibrators

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LELO toys are synonymous with luxury and high quality. Launched in 2003, LELO AB is the Swedish company who was one of the first manufacturers to transform the look, feel & function of how adult toys are perceived.

With that in mind, LELO designs some of the best vibrators in the market today. Discreet, well made and powerful, LELO vibrators and sex toys do not disappoint.

Here are our top 5 LELO toys and vibrators:

LELO Mona 2 Vibrator – Preferred by those who enjoy girth and fullness, this curvy vibrator with a wide middle will drive your G-spot crazy! It is waterproof, rechargeable and excellent for travel since it locks. The buttons are super easy to use and find in the dark. The deep vibration from the motor is perfect on the clitoris and is the perfect angle to hold against your vulva.

LELO Gigi 2 Vibrator – Some women don’t like a large vibrator or a sense of fullness . . . and there’s nothing wrong with that. The best LELO G-spot vibrator for those who want something a little less intimidating is the Gigi 2. Smaller and more petite than Mona 2, it has a curved shape with a flattened tip that is designed to directly massage the G-spot. It is also waterproof, rechargeable and excellent for travel since it also locks. The buttons are similar to Mona’s and are easy to use. Many women like using Gigi 2 externally to stimulate the clitoris.

LELO Lyla 2 Vibrator – Lyla 2 is a powerful, quiet bullet vibrator that also works as a remote control vibrating egg. Designed to be used externally, it can be used internally as well for discreet sensations with a partner or hands-free solo pleasure. Its gentle contours and light weight ensures that it stays perfectly in position at all times, comfortably and pleasurably.

LELO Ora Vibrator – Ora is a beautiful external vibrator that simulates the same pleasurable feelings of oral sex. This oral sex simulator has a unique stimulator that provides fast flicks, circular swirls and intense vibrations on and around the clitoris. Ora is a LELO vibrator that works best for women with a clitoris that is easily accessible and not nestled in the labia.

LELO Smart Wand  Massager – Although corded massagers are super powerful, they aren’t convenient and they aren’t for everyone. You need an electrical outlet and they can’t go into the shower or bath tub. Not everyone can handle that kind of power. Both the Large and Medium sized Smart Wands are discreet and beautiful yet still powerful. These waterproof and fully-rechargeable handheld massagers also feature SenseTouch™ Technology that turns on and intensifies vibration strength when the wand tip touches your skin.

The LELO massager also has the largest motor of any LELO vibrator. This means that it offers a powerful vibe on its highest setting, and when turned down low, a deep rumble that feels great on the shoulders after a long day.

No matter what LELO vibrator you choose, you won’t regret it! As one of the premier luxury adult toy manufacturers, LELO toys are high quality products that are not only beautiful and discreet but are built to last!

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What is Electro-Sex?

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Electricity and sex . . . .  Wouldn’t that hurt or be dangerous? Do they go together? Actually they do.

Electro-What?

Electrical impulses are constantly running through our body. The body those electrical impulses all the time to exchange information between nerve endings and the brain. Those electrical impulses help us to then feel touch and more importantly . . . pleasure.

And where are the most nerve endings that love pleasure? Down there! That is why you are so sensitive in that area. With the right stimulator, each of these nerves can be tingled for ultimate pleasure. When done correctly, electrostimulation can be very erotic.

E-stim (short for electrical stimulation) has become more and more popular the past couple of years. Why? Because it doesn’t hurt – It feels good!

Really? Yes!

Let’s not forget that electrostimulation has been used in the medical field for many years to treat chromic pain or rebuild muscles strength. It doesn’t hurt — it can help you! Along the way, someone decided to experiment with stimulating other body parts.

Who Does Erotic Electrostimulation?

Electro-sex is not just for people into BDSM. It can be for anyone who enjoys pleasure and is willing to try something new and different. Whether alone or with a partner, you can try electro-sex. Although we might admit that it is more fun with a partner!

What Does It Feel Like?

It could be anything from a gentle tickle to a strong stimulation.

Electro Sex for Beginners

The easiest way to try electro-sex is with an electro-sex sex toy. These toys can be used for solo or couple play. No matter what the situation you are in, there is a whole world of things you can do and try that may get you to a fast and intense orgasm, or steadily maintain a slowly spreading tingling sensation that will keep you happy for hours and hours.

To get started, you will need:

  • An e-stim toy that transfers those electrical impulses to your skin
  • A good understanding of what is safe and what is not

The First Time

With this kind of toy, it’s best to try it out first and experiment in your hand instead of your genitals. Make sure to communicate and set ground rules before you begin. Also make sure that you or your partner are not wearing rings or metal bracelets.

Turn the toy on slowly going through all of the modes. When you’re done experimenting, it’s time to turn the e-stim toy off.

Remember: Always turn off the current before you let go off the toy.

When you are ready to use the toy on your genitals, make sure to use a generous amount of water-based lubricant.

Our favorite e-stim toy, the Mystim e-stim Vibrator, uses both vibration and electrical stimulation for unbelievable pleasure. The toy has a conductive surface that runs the entire length of the shaft with 5 electrical stimulation programs and 10 speeds. Combine that with 2 powerful and silent motors at the tip and shaft that have 8 vibration patterns and speeds. WOW!

Ready to experiment with erotic electrostimulation and try something new?

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