Our sex lives are at its peak at the beginning of a new relationship. Every day is an exciting adventure because we’re constantly learning something new about our partner. But as time goes on,life starts to get in the way. Work, children and other responsibilities and pressures begin to take priority. Sadly, sex is then put on the backburner. As many long-term couples can attest, this can grind your sex life to a screeching halt.
We understand that life can get busy, but there are ways to maintain an active sex life no matter how full your schedule. Check out these 10 ways to keep your sex life hot and healthy.
1) Schedule Sex
Yes, scheduling sex may sound ridiculous to some people, but life really can get in the way of regular sex with your partner. After the honeymoon phase has come and gone, sex tends to come second to the other responsibilities in life (i.e., kids, job, etc.).
Scheduling sex will ensure you always have time set aside to be intimate with your partner. It’s understandable if you hold fears of sex becoming too routine due to the scheduling aspect. Yet, even if it’s just a quickie on your lunch break, that’s still better than not having sex at all.
Many couples aren’t likely aware of the true power of a kiss. Many of us grow complacent and plant a quick non-sensual kiss on our partner’s lips and then leave to go about our business for the day. However, when a man kisses a woman, he passes along testosterone through his saliva which acts as a kick start to her libido.
Kissing passionately is one of the best ways to heighten intimacy in a relationship. It clears up anxiety and helps both partners to relax. This is why make-out sessions often precede sexual play.
So, before mindlessly pecking your partner on the lips, stop and consider the true power of a kiss. Smooch your partner like you did when you first started dating. Don’t be surprised if your love life, and consequently your sex life, is affected positively.
3) Change up your sex rulebook
We all have an unwritten sex rule book that we play by. For example, spending five minutes in one position, flipping over into another position for five more minutes and maybe incorporating one more position into the mix before finishing. Rinse and repeat.
Sex can become routine and mundane throughout the course of a long-term relationship. If you have nothing new to look forward to, it’s unlikely you’re rushing to the bedroom every night. Changing up your sex rulebook will inject a new level of excitement into your sex life.
For example, you can incorporate new sex positions or try sensation play. You can even change up the location of where you have sex (such as a different room in your house or the backseat of your car).
Whatever you do, change up your rule book. Adding variety will excite you about sex just like it did at the beginning of your relationship.
4) Help out around the house
A mop has the power to improve our sex lives. Simply grab a mop and clean up when you see a mess. It’s that simple, and it takes a load off the partner,who is constantly cleaning up.
Couples that live together know that housework can be the source of libido-killing arguments. Dividing up the responsibilities around the house and simply cleaning up after yourself will eliminate any resentment your partner might feel for constantly cleaning up on their own. Plus, the work will get done that much faster leaving you with more time to get intimate with your partner.
5) Get “it” off your chest
What is “it” exactly? “It” can be practically anything that bugs you about your partner that you would like to see change. Confronting your partner when something is bothering you will most certainly lead to an argument, but that’s much preferable to letting an issue linger until it grows into something much worse.
Confront your partner about the behavior that’s bothering you. This will allow you to get the issue off your chest and present an opportunity to figure out a way (together!) to change the undesirable behavior. That way, you can get on with your happy lives. When the dust settles, your bedroom will be the perfect place to make up.
6) Transform the aesthetics of your bedroom
Your bedroom should be a sanctuary reserved for your most intimate moments with your partner. A cluttered bedroom can kill your libido in a heartbeat. Make your room a sanctuary for sex and romance by removing all unnecessary clutter.
While you’re at it, you should redesign the room to make it more enticing for sexual encounters. Buying a bed set and lightingcandlesare excellent ways to set the mood.
Furthermore, you should consider banning TVs, laptops, and tablets from the bedroom. You should eliminate anything that will deviate your attention away from your partner. Only one thing should be taking place in your bedroom, and that’s spending intimate time with your partner. Leave the work at the door. Literally.
Dance the tango, dance the rumba, dance like a crazy person. It doesn’t matter! You can either take your partner out to a club, take dance lessons, or dance in your home. Either way, dancing will flood your system with dopamine and make you feel happier and more energized.
Dancing is an intimate activity because you’re moving in synch with your partner, sometimes hand in hand and always face to face. Dancing will force you to make eye contact as you press your bodies together thus symbolizing your intimate connection with each other. Don’t be surprised if you somehow dance your way into the bedroom at some point.
8) Introduce sex toys to the mix
One of the best ways to keep your sex life hot and healthy is to introduce quality sex toys to the bedroom. There are plenty of high-quality sex toys to choose from that satisfy the needs of both partners. You can introduce individual female and male sex toys to the bedroom or even purchase toys for couples play, where both partners are stimulated at the same time.
The newest sex toys can even be controlled by an app on your phone. Introducing high-end sex toys to the bedroom can provide all types of benefits, such as causing you and your partner to experience more powerful and long-lasting pleasure.
Sex toys also allow you to experiment and have fun in ways you’ve likely never tried before. Whether you’re looking for new sex toys that can be controlled from an app or simply looking for something to add extra stimulation during sex, sex toys are a fun and exciting way to keep your sex life alive and well.
9) Tell your partner that you appreciate them
Often in long-term relationships we begin to take things for granted. The beginning of a relationship is where we truly let our partners know how much we appreciate them for “picking up that sock” or “doing the dishes”. Go back to the good ol’ days and vocally express how lucky you are to have that person in your life.
Wake up every day and tell your partner one thing that you appreciate about them. Over time this will boost the romance in your relationship and lead to more passionate sex.
10) Learn to love your body
As we age, we tend to let things go. Our metabolism can only work for so long before it starts to slow down.That’s when things start to get saggy. If you’re too busy hiding a bulging stomach or another undesirableaspect of your body because you’re self-conscious about what your partner will think, then you won’t be truly able to feel free during sexual play.
Some people only do the same few positions because they’re afraid of flipping around and exposing their “disgusting” body to their partner. The problem with that line of thinking is if you’re in a committed relationship that involves sex your partner already knows what your body looks like. Love your body and cut loose in the bedroom. Your sex life will benefit from your new outlook.
Don’t let your sex life die because life got in the way. There are many ways to keep your sex life hot and healthy even if have an endless list of responsibilities. Remember, these tips aren’t just a “one and done” affair. You have to put in continuous work to maintain a healthy sex life. If you work hard enough, your sex life will thrive as a result.