Guest Post by Cija Black
I have had many long-term relationships and they always start off with a bang. Some burn bright and die out quickly, while others mellow into a comfortable (sometimes too comfortable) old pair of shoes. Until my most recent relationship, I didn’t understand how critical it was to keep the spark of passion and adventure alive in a relationship. It’s too easy to fall into an old routine, one where you and your partner become more like roommates then lovers. I challenge you to ask for more.
Insist on having a partner and the type of relationship where passion and adventure is always a possibility. It could be a passionate game of strip chess, bird watching in romantic locations or simply getting in the car for a drive without a set destination. How you define that is up to the two of you.
Be passionate for yourself first!
Part of keeping that passion and adventure alive is to revel in each other. If you are looking for a relationship, starting one or have been in one for a while always keep in touch with the things about yourself that spark interest and excitement in others and find ways to keep that passion burning bright. To be clear, this is first and foremost for your own benefit, then for the other person. If you aren’t happy and excited about you, it’s much harder to elicit that response from your partner.
The elements of yourself that make an appearance when you fall in love, are some of the best, most real and joyful pieces of you. And it is possible to keep them alive past the first blush of love. Don’t lose site of the things you are passionate about; those things that excite and inspire you. Keep in touch with your awesome. Sharing your internal light with your partner is an important way to continue to stoke the fire of love.
Just “OK” is not OK
The other side of this equation is your partner. Seek out a partner that doesn’t think you’re just “OK”. You deserve someone who you not only click with, but who likes the way your brain works, the way you two interact and connect emotionally and your physical chemistry. All of those pieces are important.
It’s not possible to keep your relationship red-hot at all times, but you can make sure that you’re having fun, enjoying each other and having adventures, even if that means trying some new exotic fruit neither of you has tasted. Define passion and adventure for yourselves but always revel and appreciate your partner for who they are.
I will leave you with some questions to ask yourself and your partner:
- What are you passionate about and excited to share with your partner?
- Are there any passions you have been hiding that you could share with a partner? (Remember your partner should revel in who you are and what excites you!)
- Recall a time with a current or past partner where you two were really connecting and present. Can you think of ways to tap into that feeling and connection again?
I hope this gives you some food for though and coals for the fire. What passion will you share with your partner?
Cija Black is a dating and relationship expert, author, speaker and educator. Her dating and relationship expertise comes from 20 years of in-the-trenches experience safely using personals both on and off line. She is the author of Modern Love: The Grownup’s Guide to Relationships & Online Dating and creator of the online class: Sorting Your Love Baggage. Cija is dedicated to helping people sort their relationship baggage, and find real love both on and offline. To find out more visit: http://www.modernloveguide.com You can get $10 off the online class if you use the coupon code: luxury