Female ejaculation: is it a myth or reality?
Considered by some the “unicorn of sexual experiences”, female ejaculation is real for many women. Female ejaculate is a small amount of whitish fluid that occurs during or just before you climax. Female ejaculation has been documented as far back the ancient Romans. The Kama Sutra and ancient Japanese erotic works also mention fluid coming from women’s genitals during orgasm.
Roughly 10 – 50% of women ejaculate at orgasm. That number could be even higher because more women may be ejaculating without even knowing it! Ejaculation can be as little as a few drops to a lot (1 – 2 cups), which is more like squirting (or as some people refer to it as “gushing”). It’s definitely not predictable and many women try but don’t succeed.
Those who are able to do it, swear by it and describe it as “liberating” and “intensely pleasurable”.
What Is Female Ejaculation?
In the middle of the vulva, above the vaginal opening but below the clitoris, is the opening of women’s urine tube, the urethra. A group of glands are embedded in the tissue around it, the paraurethral glands.
In the 1880s, Alexander Skene discovered the first 2 paraurethral glands, called Skene’s glands. Skene documented that the glands he discovered produced a small amount of whitish fluid. Since then, several other paraurethral glands have been identified.
Fast forward to Alfred Kinsey, the first American sex researcher, and Masters and Johnson, the inventors of sex therapy. They both dismissed female ejaculation as simply a large amount vaginal lubrication.
Just recently, the medical establishment has admitted to the existence of the female prostate. The G-spot is the main ingredient in female ejaculation, and it’s no coincidence that the female G-spot is in practically exactly the same spot (ok — on a different wall) as the male prostate. The glands’ arrangement and the fact that they produced fluid reminded researchers of the male prostate. Some believe that a women’s ability to release fluid on orgasm suggests that it comes from the same gland that produces most of the fluid in semen. Believe it or not, it is actually near the exact (minus the sperm) chemical construction as prostatic fluid. In other words, the female version of the male prostate.
Is This Fluid Pee?
It is definitely not urine. When a man ejaculates, he ejaculates semen – not urine. It’s the same for women. (No one can deny that a little urine might also be expelled when ejaculating.) Also, the fluid is not yellow and foul smelling. Female ejaculate almost resembles watered down skim milk.
In a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers determined that the fluid emitted during orgasm showed all the characteristics of prostate plasma and not urine. They concluded that this is be proof that our Paraurethral/Skene’s gland, where the fluid comes from, functions as female prostate glands.
Can Every Woman Do It?
In theory, every woman has the biological anatomy to ejaculate, but that doesn’t mean that they can do it. It may be more difficult for some because of the placement of the Skene’s gland and ability to produce prostate fluid, embarrassment, weak pelvic floor muscles, or the inability to properly relax or even orgasm.
Even with practice, not every woman can ejaculate. Those who have the proper anatomy might need time to learn how to ejaculate.
Is Squirting and Gushing The Same As Female Ejaculation?
Squirting and gushing are often used interchangeably with reference to female ejaculation, but they are actually different. Female ejaculation includes the release of a thick and whitish fluid from the female prostate, while “squirting” or “gushing,” commonly seen in porn, is the expulsion of clear fluid from the urinary bladder. (They inject water into the vagina before filming.) So, sorry to burst your bubble, but what you see in porn is most likely fake. Plus, most women can not ejaculate on command.
According to Dr. Debbie Herbenick, it’s hard to tell whether the women who squirt are truly experiencing the projection of female ejaculate or if they’re just peeing a little. Some women experience a bit of “gushing” during climax, but the reason often boils down to anatomical differences in genital tissue.
How To Female Ejaculate and Squirt
Step 1. Preparation
- Exercise your kegels! Strong PC muscles and an awareness of your PC muscles are an important part of female ejaculation. Do your kegels!
- Empty your bladder
- Use a towel or a waterproof blanket
Step 2. Explore
- Explore your body and learn about the female anatomy
- Learn what you like and don’t like
Step 3. Arouse
- Arousal is a very important part of the female ejaculation equation (The G-spot becomes easier to find and can handle more pressure when aroused.)
- Feel how your arousal levels increase whether it be by yourself or with a partner
- Do not rush to penetration
Step 4. Find the G-spot
- Located approximately 2 – 3 inches inside the vagina, towards the front of the vaginal wall
- Curve your fingers in a firm “come hither” motion toward the belly button
- It will be a different texture (raised or ridged) than the rest of the vagina (When aroused, the G-spot swells with fluid and blood going from the size of a dime to the approximate size of a walnut.)
Step 5. Stimulate
- Once you have found the G-spot, stimulate it with firm, steady and prolonged (15 – 30 minutes) stimulation
- It might be easier with a partner’s help or a G-spot vibrator, one that has a curved end. (Fingers can only do so much!)
- You may feel that you have to pee. This pressure is normal and you won’t pee especially if the bladder is empty. So get over your pee phobia!
- Repeat several times increasing the speed
Step 6. Relax
- The more you relax, the better able you are to have an ejaculation
- Try not to tense up
Step 7. Enjoy
- Increase your arousal and continue toward orgasm
- LET YOURSELF GO!
- Take “letting go” a step further by using the pelvic floor (PC) muscles to push out when you feel the urge to pee
- Embrace the orgasm and the wetness.
- Remember to not block the urethral opening with a toy, a penis or a hand.
Step 8. Practice
- Some women squirt easily while others need to practice
- Experiment with different G-spot vibrators and sexual positions
- The key to female ejaculation is orgasm — without an orgasm, you will never ejaculate!
- Drink water because you may be dehydrated
- The pelvic nerve is the main nerve that controls female ejaculation, which also stimulates emotions. If you are feeling emotional, let that go too.