Centuries ago, the term “cuckold” refered to the fact that the man being cuckolded is the last to know about his wife’s infidelity and was then shamed. Legend has it that a parade was even held in the unfortunate husband’s honor, where he was forced to wear antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife’s infidelity.
Today, cuckolding is considered a type of fetish between a dominant/top (the wife) and a submissive/bottom (the husband). According to Dawn Michael, an LA clinical sexologist, “. . . in a marriage where cuckolding is practiced by a husband and wife, the husband derives sexual pleasure from being submissive to his wife and him feeling like he is not able to sexually please her.”
But what does cuckolding really mean today?
The husband joyfully watches his wife, the “Cuckoldress,” have sex with other men in front of him while in the same room (or sometimes he doesn’t watch and just wants to hear about it). (This reminds us of a recent scene from Boardwalk Empire!)
In the fetish cuckolding subculture, Dawn continues, “. . . the man takes on a submissive role only becoming involved with her (or her lover) when she permits it—sometimes remaining completely celibate in the marriage all together. One of the main ingredients in the cuckolding marriage is the humiliation . . . .”
Watching your partner have sex with someone else sounds like swinging or polymory, right?
Not in this case. Since shame and humiliation are involved, it’s a form of psychological sadomasochism. Many men enjoy and find pleasure in the mental anguish. Cuckolded men (“Cucks”) are also not allowed sexual release. In this dominant and submissive relationship, the wife is the dominant partner, where she holds all the power. In some cases, the man may even wear a male chastity belt or cock cage. The woman controls his orgasm because “. . . he is not capable of controlling it himself,” says Dawn.
This intellectual sex fetish also includes the comparison of penis size and shaming the man for not having a large enough penis for her enjoyment. Men prefer to watch the woman they love have sex with a “better” man than them. And who are those “better” men? The most common dynamic is: white husband, white wife, and African-American man, commonly referred as “mandingos” or “bulls”. (Yet again another reminder of that recent scene from Boardwalk Empire!) It must be true that African-American men are well endowed!
What kind of men are into cuckolding?
Some men are still in the closet, while others like the idea of their wives attracting other guys. For them, competition is a turn on.
How are these men not jealous?
He doesn’t believe that he owns his wife, and he prefers to focus on being turned on by the competition. That’s why most men who are into this fetish are intellectual: they can rationalize that the competition is way more important than being jealous. These men get off more from psychological pleasure, rather than the physical aspect of sex.
Is cuckolding the same as Hotwifing?
It’s similar but not exactly the same. Hotwifing applies to any woman that has a man who feels she is hot enough to attract other men. The desire to see the “Hotwife” with another man is similar to cuckolding but the humiliation factor is not there. He wants his wife to enjoy the attention from other men, which then turns him on.
A cuckolding relationship is definitely not for everyone. Once you go down this road, it’s hard to undo what’s been already done.
As with anything else, discussing this with your partner is the best before you start experimenting with this fetish. If you are interested in experimenting with cuckolding, try My Secret Luxury’s Cuckolding Kit.